Lost in translation

The past few days I've been really feeling in a slum. Main reason being that I've temporarily lost a good connection with one of my very close friends. Just think of him as the friend that you can always:

• count on for any occasion
• tell everything without worrying about sounding dumb
• count on to go to party 6 hours away just to meet someone you've known online

I guess it was about less than a week ago that I started to realize the many little things he naturally did that I really didn't think were discerning. Whether it'd be that he just forget about something he promised to do, to simply not appreciating the many favors I do for him. I'm really not trying to sound like this is a gay-relationship (it's not, I promise), but when you've known a friend long enough, you realize that it's not the big problems that matter anymore, it's all the small things that get to your head and drive you nuts.

Things changed a lot in the past few days, and I had to force myself to break the cycle of hanging out with the same person I would usually see 5 to 6 days out of the week. It's hard, trust me. The first few days were gruesome, and I felt guilty for being a dick (not literally). I still just wanted to take a few days to accumulate all my thoughts and present them as something that is constructive, not a verbal assault. Going out of your regular routine you've been doing for years is hard. Next few days didn't get much better after getting a ticket, and getting chewed out at work.

As my problems seemed like they just couldn't get much worse, as if it hit rock bottom and said "Hey, you've suffered enough...here have a bit of happiness again" I realized, with the help of Mani, a long time friend, that he feels the exact same way. Wow, really? Things just seem so much easier when you are not alone in the dark with your problems and someone else comes to help with a giant flashlight (infinite battery of course). I just felt as if this 50 pound backpack that I've been carrying with me everywhere turned into a hot air balloon. I've realized that change, good or bad, is always going to turn out better. It's hard to accept change because living in a comfort zone just feels so comfortable and so predictable, but at the same time it feels dull.

I love change, and I'm really anxious and excited to see what new things will happen.