My life

I feel like I only write in here when I'm bored, or late at night. I've been both bored and up till the wee hours of the morning the past couple of months and completely forgotten about the fact that I had a blog, until Raj mentioned his blog..

The past couple weeks, or months I've actually felt both really out of it, and in it at the same time. I don't know how to describe it, but a roller coaster ride as an analogy wouldn't be too far off.

It's true that your mind is more open to suggestions late at night, or when you are tired. I've been realizing that a lot of my time is being wasted doing nothing, yet I've been doing a lot. Or maybe that's what I tell myself. The past week made me realize that I'm terribly in debt, but only this time I don't have a source to replenish my accounts, and my unemployed title does not help much either. It's not that I don't have a job, but rather that I'm trying to start my own business and focusing on making that work. So far it's working out alright, there are a few clients, and it's looking promising, but money isn't coming in heavy duty duffel bags as I hoped for. That's the part that gets me down, and I've even caught myself getting depressed about that the past few days. It's the thought that I'm not doing the greatest in school and on top of that I don't have a great career to act as a safety net either, while everyone has either one or the other. I guess the only thing I can do is keep on doing what I'm doing.

I've also been thinking a lot lately about what my goals are, and I can't jump to a conclusion. I know, just like everyone else, I'd like to be successful and famous one day, well not really famous, but successful and rich. But I also want to make my parents happy, which my current plans don't really fall into. I don't really enjoy going to school, nor am I giving much effort to, and I'm not wealthy beyond my dreams financially...so that doesn't really convince them.

I don't have any answers myself as to how I will solve these dilemma's but I'll post again once I do figure that out.